‘Where Are All the Men?’ This Vintage Manual on Manners From the 1880s Can Make a Gentleman Out of You

The following is an excerpt from “Our Deportment,” a code of manners, conduct, and dress of refined society by John H. Young A.M., published in 1881. We offer it in hopes of promoting gentlemanly conduct among men—young and older—in today’s sometimes unbalanced and undisciplined world. Our Manners. A rude person, though well meaning, is avoided by all. Manners, in fact, are minor morals; and a rude person is often assumed to be a bad person. The manner in which a person says or does a thing, furnishes a better index of his character than what he does or says, for it is by the incidental expression given to his thoughts and feelings, by his looks, tones and gestures, rather than by his words and deeds, that we prefer to judge him, for the reason that the former are involuntary. The manner in which a favor is granted or a kindness done, …

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